My first journal entry in at least a year? Yeah about that time.

I've been meaning to start a journal but I wanted to do it on this
unix system but I didn't know how :s. Well I do now, fancy that.
I don't know how personal I want to be in these journals because I
know *someone* is going to read these but also I'm intentionally
putting the journal on here for partially that reason. I doubt anyone
else is going to be reading this, and I'm glad of it.

What's happened the past few days, hmm? Well yesterday I beat the
game Journey that bunny wanted me to play. Its very cool and shorter
than I expected. Its pretty and the story is vague but thats a good
thing I like that it isn't he main focus. The focus is on the journey :D

(is it poor form to put a trailing smiley)

Besides that, I've been really up and down with my emotions. I've been
more aware of it recently but really I've been like this for two years
which is coincidentally when I started the gender drugs oh yeah its
been over two years since I started that :D very happy about that.
Never the less I feel like I've been especially emotionally unstable the
past month or two. I'm not used to living with somemone! My life is in
a lot of ways the same but always having someone in the same room does
something to me. The same thing happened when Alex visited me earlier
this year. I really like Bunny and Alex but its stressful living with
other people. I have such a disjointed way of doing things that is not
at all compatible with co-habitation. I've had small breakdowns because
of it and I feel really bad telling both of them 'oh heh you're really
getting in my personal space I need to decompress or else I start
screaming.'

Its not only that though. I feel so inadequate with people. Everyone I
talk to says I'm nice and social and friendly but I feel so imposing and
silent and annoying to others. It especially hurts that Alex has been
getting more and more social and my attempts don't seem to work. I know
that everyone now a days is social stupid and doesn't know how to handle
relationships but when I try to reach out to someone and they don't try
to reach out to me it hurts. It really hurts!! Its really painful..

so anyways thats my first entry k bye :3