My father, a retired gastroentrologist, died July 8. I wasn't able to make 
it to the funeral as I am in France on vacation with my large family.  
They barely knew him and I didn't want to ruin their trip.  I wasn't that 
interested in going anyway.  I would have gone if I were home, as the 
funeral was at the cemetary next door to my house.  I did get to watch the 
funeral on my Ubuntu Dell Latitude 5300 laptop.

The next day, my youngest son (8) asked me what was the most beautiful 
thing I had ever seen.

I said: I don't know. If it is something that you'd give anything to see 
again, then I would like to (one last time) stand next to my father as he 
shoves a tube into strangers bare naked ass hole and hands the end to me 
so I can take a look, yes, I would say that the deep inside of a 
stranger's disgusting hairy ass hole is the most beautiful thing I've ever 
seen at this moment.

If he had asked the most beautiul music, I would guess it was the longest 
fart I've ever heard after the tube was pulled out.

I often lie to my kids when I should speak the truth, and I often speak 
the truth when I should lie.

I felt it was inapproriate to say Elvira's breasts as I don't want my kids 
to know that my father let me watch late night horror movies or it will be 
even more difficult than it already is putting them to bed, and my kids 
are very clever so I have to tell them something they will believe.  
That's what good parents do, I think.