Looks like my shell issues have been resolved for now. My colors are all set up and all is well. I've managed to make my environment here a lot like everything I've used before. Maybe that's good, maybe not. It's how it is for now. ---------- I enjoy being alone. I like hearing my own thoughts, observing, being quiet, and doing nothing. But I detest the word "introvert." It's abused and overused these days. I'm not sure it applies, anyways. I like people, too. I like public speaking, presenting, and improvising. If I'm giving a presentation, I'll put some pictures on a slide to direct my thinking and then make it up as I start talking. Not a brag of my own abilities, just something I like doing. I think quiet is undervalued these days. Or it always was, and it's more obvious now. I love that communication can be instant, and that you can hear any song at any time. I don't think modern technology is evil. I just think people sometimes get wrapped up in being able to do and say so much that sometimes they forget that it's optional. You can be alone, in person and in thought. Living alone, as I was able to do for about a year before I moved in with my girlfriend, has changed me. Everyone knows they lack some common knowledge. I'd never used a blender, or had clothes that needed to be ironed, or had to pay all my own bills. As an adult, you can't admit some of this stuff. But when you're alone, you're free to experiment. Okay, I've never taken a car in for repairs. How exactly do I do it? What do I have to have prepared? Usually it's incredibly simple, sometimes even just "show up and you're done." But I lacked experience to know that in confidence. Being alone meant I could mess up at any task and nobody would know. I can take time to figure stuff out. I can try things that I want to learn about. You know that scene in every sitcom where someone turns on the blender with no lid? I was free to make that kind of mistake, though I at least had the knowledge to not make that mistake in particular. It was very liberating. I had a lot of personal growth in that year. I loved living alone, but I like where I am now. Things are very different. And difficult, too, at times. But I'm not desperate to be all alone again. Our apartment is big enough so that we don't have to be in the same room together all day, and that was intentional. Alone time is important. Quiet time is important. People time is important. ---------- Big trip planned for May. Looking forward to spending some time in Scotland, which is a different continent for me. If anyone reads this and knows anything about the area, let me know. I travelled to Europe once as a kid and never managed to go back. It deeply bothers me. My siblings all have been there, one for half of a year. Most of my siblings have studied languages, too, to the point where they're fluent in them. My life has taken me down a different path - computers, their languages, and other minor things. This has bothered me for some time. I know travelling is good for a person, especially in their interactions with others. I know languages are good to learn, instead of being so shut off from the majority of the world that doesn't speak what I speak. It also feels criminal to not be learning something, given that you can basically learn anything now for free. I'll expand on this another time, but it's why I spent a year studying a new language, though admittedly not very strictly. And now I'm trying to learn another. I can't claim to be fluent, quick, or even claim to be able to hold a conversation. I can read it alright, and that alone brings me such joy and satisfaction at my own abilities. I'm not trying to be cryptic, though it sounds like it. I feel that it will require explanation, which I'm saving for later.