Top 36 Funniest Newspaper Headlines

36. Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
35. Queen Mary having bottom scraped
34. NJ judge to rule on nude beach
33. Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
32. Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
31. Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
30. Dealers will hear car talk at noon
29. Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
28. Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
27. Cold wave linked to temperatures
26. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
25. Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
24. Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
23. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
22. William Kelly was fed secretary
21. Milk drinkers are turning to powder
20. Farmer bill dies in house
19. Iraqi head seeks arms
18. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
17. Miners refuse to work after death
16. If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
15. War dims hope for peace
14. Child's death ruins couple's holiday
13. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
12. Man is fatally slain
11. Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
10. Eye drops off shelf
9. Squad helps dog bite victim
8. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
7. Never withhold herpes from loved one
6. Child's stool great for use in garden
5. Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
4. Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
3. Prostitutes appeal to Pope
2. Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
1. Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better