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       Dilbert - 2012-06-24 - 
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       Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to
       Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to
       name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF
       course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using
       nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide
       and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football
       League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff!
       Topper: According to the president of the International Society of
       Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to
       that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.
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