Date: Tue, 17 May 2005 17:10:23 -0400
From: Linda Laving <lindalaving@hotmail.com>
Subject: Why I Blow Guys (TG)

Why I Blow Guys

By Linda Laving

lindalaving@hotmail.com


I came walking back into the club from the parking lot for the third time
that evening, and I'd just made my third stop at the ladies room to fix my
lipstick.

It was a typical Tuesday night at the club, which was gay, but on Tuesdays
they had a drag show which attracted a regular crowd of admirers, most of
whom were of some degree of professed straightness, who hung around at the
pool table in the back room till the drag show started. And most of whom I
was either blowing regularly, or had blown regularly, till I lost interest
in their particular cocks or personalities.

On most other nights at the club I'd show up in some degree of girl casual
but on Tuesdays, because of the admirers and their fetishes, I usually
dressed for them and this night was no exception.
I'd shaved what little body hair I have and plucked my very thin brows as
usual, but went with the sexy lingerie, a black lace strapless bra and
matching thong and garter belt with sheer nude stockings under a very short
red velvet spaghetti strap dress. And my makeup had been applied a little
more dramatically than usual as well, monotone eyeshadows in white, silver,
and black, liquid eyeliner top and bottom, 3 layers of black mascara, and
plum blush and blood red lipstick. My toe and fingernails were also enameled
blood red, and I was out as a blond.

The guy I'd just sucked off in my conversion van I'd saved till last - he
never seemed to mind if I sucked off some of the others before I got to him
as long as he was in there somewhere.
A large early thirties guy who liked to kiss as well as get sucked, and
virtually never masturbated so he always had at least a weeks worth of cum
saved for me.
And this particular week he'd almost filled my mouth to overflowing with his
sperm before I swallowed it down, sending it on it's way to merge with the 2
previous gooey discharges already pooled in my belly.

I went to the bar to order a soda before driving home. I'd have preferred to
leave the taste of cum in my mouth for the drive, I liked that, but I really
was thirsty. And while waiting to order a drink, the lesbian next to me,
Karen, with whom I'd had numerous casual conversations over the years, said
'Can I ask you something personal?'
'Sure, sweetie, anything you want. As long as my answers stay with you'
'Of course! I notice that almost every Tuesday during the evening you
disappear with the guys at the pool table, one by one - are you a working
girl? And if it's too personal, let me know and I'll shut up'
'No I'm not a hooker, I suck them off them in my van for free' I replied

She sat there waiting for me to say more, and when I didn't she asked 'What
else do you do?'
'Well, nothing much, usually. A few of the guys like to kiss, and if they're
cute and know how to kiss without messing up my makeup I might kiss them for
a while before, during, or after I'm blowing them.
But usually we more or less just get in the van, they sit back on the seat
and drop their pants, and I kneel on the carpet in front of them and suck
their cocks till they cum. And when they do I swallow their sperm and they
usually just pull up their pants, thank me, and leave'

She sat there for a moment, and then asked 'Do they ever fuck you?'
'Never in my van, or in video stores, or in any other kind of sex-only
situation. I do have some regular guys I date whom, once in awhile if the
situation becomes especially intimate, I might let fuck me. But that's
extremely rare' I said 'and it's been quite awhile since anyone fucked me'

'Well, how about the guys sucking you off?' she asked 'Do they want to do
that?'
'3 or more in a night?' I said with a smile 'I'd be really sore - but
seriously, I don't really like to get sucked by guys. Most aren't very good
at it anyway but if I cum I'll lose interest in sucking them. And generally
if a guy has an interest in sucking me I won't bother with him, for various
reasons. And to top it off I rarely can get hard for them anyway.'

And then the inevitable question came:

'Why do you do it then? Why do you like it? I really don't understand'

          ******

It was a good question!
I'd been asked it before, of course. And it was not an easy one to answer.
In general I didn't think much about the whys, I let my compulsions rule.
But behind the compulsions there were undoubtedly lots of reasons why I
sucked off guys - some were sensual, some were, I'm sure, psychological (and
related to issues going back to my earliest years), and some were sexual
(but not as many were purely sexual as you'd maybe expect). And a few might
be peripherally related to my trangenderedness.

But none of my reasons for sucking off guys were intellectual, that was for
sure.

So here is my undoubtedly poor attempt to intellectualize and possibly self
analyze my motives for my oral compulsion.
And will there be contradictions? You can bet on it.

          ******

GENDER RELATED

Gender is gender and sexuality is sexuality - and I have always considered
myself a bisexual person who is also transgendered.
Except for a few early experiments almost all the blowjobs I've given have
been while enfemme.
But, I'm sure that if I hadn't been transgendered I still would have been a
cocksucker to at least some degree, and I've never used my transgenderedness
as a justification for why I liked to suck off guys, even to myself.
And there are the rare times when I've blown guys in male garb when the
situation was really, really convenient and the cocks were figuratively, if
not literally, in my face.
Video stores I've passed anyway where I've stopped a few times for a few
quick loads of cum and several guys over the years that'd be waiting as I
got off the bus from work for a quick blowjob in their front seat.

But being transgendered has definitely expanded my opportunities for blowing
guys, and given my compulsions freer reign.
And it's also definitely widened the scope and quantities of the men looking
for blowjobs to include a very large portion of the professedly straight
guys out there who wouldn't even consider letting a guy suck his cock.
But by letting a T girl suck their cock or even kiss them they can justify
to themselves that they're still completely straight.
Denial is a wonderful thing.

And, to be completely honest, giving blowjobs to a guy as a girl probably
does fulfill a certain feminine need that is gender oriented.

          *****

SEX RELATED

Sexually I'm chemically attracted to women, not men, so there aren't any
purely sex related reasons why I like to blow guys.
I'm sure that the guys themselves are looking for a blowjob for sexual
reasons, but I almost never get horny while sucking them, and I never blow
them because I'm horny to begin with.

There is something about having a guy slowly fuck my mouth while I just stay
there passively, when the feel of a cock sliding in and out my lips might
make me hard for a short while.
And once in awhile I might get partially hard when someone shoots an
exceptionally large and strong tasting load of cum into my mouth
unexpectedly.

But these are fleeting responses to what I do and not driving reasons as to
why I look for cocks to suck.

          ******

SENSE RELATED

OK, Now we're starting to touch on some things.
While not a highly sexual person, as regarding my desire to blow guys at
least, I am a strongly sensual person in general.
My initial reasons for wanting to suck cock might have started more in the
psychological realm, but as my cock sucking experiences grew I discovered
that blowing guys is a very sensual experience, with every one of the 5
senses involved.  And the sensuality over time has become a driving force as
to why I like blowing guys

SIGHT
I love looking at the cocks as they're released from the guys' pants and
presented to my mouth. I love looking in a guys eyes as I'm sucking on his
cock or watching them leaning back with their eyes closed as I pleasure
them. And though it doesn't happen all that often, I especially like
watching myself in a mirror as I blow someone.

SMELL
While cleanliness and hygiene are requisites for the guys I blow, I truly
enjoy the musky odor from a guys groin, the mild odor of sweat brought on by
the blowjob, the smell of a nice cologne, and even the faint urine odor on
his cock when I first take it in my mouth.

HEARING
Sounds can be a real turn on for me. These include the heavy breathing and
the moaning and sighing from the guy as my mouth works on his cock.
The slurping sound my wet mouth makes as I slide up and down his shaft with
my lips.
The things certain guys say as I'm blowing them ranging from the nice ('Oh,
baby, you suck cock so good' or 'Baby, you look great with my cock in your
mouth') to the nasty ('Suck my dick, bitch' or 'I'll bet you love me fucking
your mouth), etc.
But my favorite sound of all is the moan, groan, or even simple grunt that
virtually every guy makes as he starts spewing his load of cum into my
mouth.

TASTE
Most of the tastes associated with sucking a cock are subtle till the end,
but nice.
I like the unique taste of a guys sweat on his cock, the faint taste of
urine, and the subtle taste of precum as it slowly drips out onto my tongue
as I'm sucking him.
But I love the taste of cum on my tongue when it's finally released into my
mouth with it's one of a kind flavor.
And while every load of cum varies in it's degree of muskiness, saltiness,
sweetness, sourness, and bitterness it's always a taste I savor and I
usually swirl it around in my mouth before gulping it down.
And the aftertaste that sits at the back of my throat after swallowing is
one I like to hold onto as long as possible.

TOUCH
Even when a guy wants minimum contact during a blowjob the sense of touch is
still really strong.
The silky feeling on my tongue as I lick someone's cock or balls, the feel
of a cockhead rubbing against the roof of my mouth or the inside of my
cheeks, the soft friction of a cock shaft as it slides in and out of my
mouth against my wet lips, and the soft pulsation against my lower lip as
the cum rushes along the cock to erupt inside my mouth.

With other guys it's also the feelings in my fingertips as I play with his
balls, the friction of my palm as I stroke him while sucking, the warmth
around my finger as I slide it up his ass as he cums.
At times it's also the feel of his body hair as I pet him with the hand I'm
not using otherwise, and the feeling of his hand stroking my face, thighs,
neck, and chest as I'm blowing him.

And it's also, with the right guy, the feel of his hands holding my head in
place as he fucks my mouth slowly, the feel of his balls softly slapping
against my chin, the fuzzy sensation of pubic hair pressing against my nose
and lips as his cock enters my throat, and the pressure against my throat
itself as his cock slides in.

And finally, it's the feeling in my mouth as his cum splashes against my
throat or flows onto my tongue, and the warm feeling as his cum slides down
my gullet heading towards my stomach.

******

PSYCHOLOGICALLY RELATED

Psychological reasons are probably the main fuel for the fire that is my
compulsion to blow guys, yet none of these are things I think about or
consider at the time I'm actively involved in giving blowjobs.
I am not a therapist, have never seen one professionally, nor have I ever
done any scientific reading on the subject, so this section could be
entirely crap.

But I'm going to lay back on my figurative analyst's couch anyway and do a
little digging into my own psyche and speculate on some of my motives for
wanting to blow guys.

ORAL FIXATION

OK, This one's a little too easy, isn't it? But what causes it?
I suspect it could be as simple as a need to Nurse.
All through history, babies have had their mothers' breast to nurse on and
suckle during their formative years, for food and comfort.
In my case, however, I was born during a time when breast feeding became
rare and I was brought up having a plastic bottle filled with 'formula' and
a rubber nipple pushed into my mouth whenever I had a need to suckle.

There are obviously no lactating breasts upon which to nurse later on, so an
oral fixation developed.
In most people this need is focused on food, cigarettes, thumb sucking, etc.
I am oral in general, I loving kissing, licking clits, etc., but to me I
think a cock became the best available lactating breast substitute - warm
flesh, soft to start with, and suckling on one produces, if not mothers
milk, 'fathers milk'.
I find it very comforting at times to softly nurse on a cock, sometimes for
hours on end.

I have spent some entire nights with a cock in my mouth, my suckling actions
feeding me the warm body temperature 'milk' I desire, then falling asleep
with the cock in my mouth, waking up to nurse again, being fed again, and
continuing throughout the night till the 'milk' was dry and eventually
waking up in daylight with a soft cock still inside my mouth.

EXHIBITIONISM

EXHIBITIONISM is probably a cry for attention at some level or other.
I've always liked showing off my body, skimpy sexy clothes, the beach or
pool with minimal body covering, etc.
But blowing guys with an audience is the ultimate expression of this.
To me there's nothing like having a dick in my mouth and having an audience
watch as I put on a show, licking, sucking, and stroking till the guy cums
in my mouth with a grunt or moan.

In a video booth I like to leave the door wide open as the doorway fills
with guys watching me blow someone.
I like sucking a guy's cock in his car as he drives around in crowds and
bumper-to-bumper traffic.
And I've sucked off guys in straight movie theaters, and on park benches in
the daytime.
But my favorite, which I've only been able to do a few times, has been
squatting in a large open room in the middle of a really large crowd with
several cocks in front of me as I go back and forth between them with my
mouth and hands as the sounds of the spectators fills my senses.

SHOCK VALUE also goes hand in hand with my exhibitionism, though I'm sure it
fits into some other categories as well.
But when I have an audience I like to take it a step further than I normally
would.

Watching me suck a cock and take the load of cum in my mouth is one thing,
but pulling the cock out of my mouth at the last minute and taking the blast
between my open lips onto my tongue or opening my mouth to show the cum
pooled there before swallowing it or asking a guy to jerk himself off into
my open mouth does provide a certain shock even to people used to voyeuring.
And I really like that.

WANNABEE PORN STAR - Like most others, I've spent some time looking at porn
pictures and movies, and I'm generally very narrow band with my interests in
that regard. I like strictly oral hetero porn with women avidly sucking
cocks.
When I'm watching it I always picture myself as the girls in the pics or
videos, and wish I were in their place, camera's clicking and recording me.
It seems to me the ultimate expression of exhibitionism, with a really huge
audience.

At one point I was seeing a guy who liked filming as much as I did, and we'd
play around for hours with multiple camera sources, a PC camera
automatically capturing everything that happened in low resolution and a
Digital camera for close-ups. For a period of time I had pictures of myself
flying all over the internet, an amateur cyber cocksucking porn star with an
ever-present cock planted in her mouth.
But I was never able to get any really good cum shots, the PC camera didn't
have the resolution to pick up the details and the guy didn't much like
concentrating on taking a picture at the moment he was exploding into my
mouth.
After awhile the whole thing became boring, actually, the audience was
faceless, and I miss the feedback from a live audience. But it was fun for a
while.

CONTROL

With many of the TG people I've met over the years S&M, B&D, and
Master/Slave fetishes have played a large part in their sex lives in general
and in their desire to suck a cock in particular.
None of these have ever really interested me on a personal level, though.
I've been invited to be both a Slave and a Master numerous times, I've been
asked to inflict pain and inquired as to whether I wanted pain inflicted,
and I've seen and been invited to play in many dungeons over the years. But
from many discussions with aficionados I've found that all of these are
mostly role-play scenarios, and I'm not into role-play.
And while the Dominant/Submissive and Top/Bottom thing does come into play
to some degree it's really all about control with me.

Control - who's controlling and who's being controlled.
Most people naturally think that a person who likes sucking cocks is
submissive by nature and it isn't always true.
I've always been a control freak in general and while I might be a bottom by
nature I'm also a dominant personality. When I'm sucking someone's dick I
might be the one on my knees but I'm also the one controlling things.

I'm the one who's controlling what sensations the guy is going to feel by
what I do with my mouth, lips, tongue, and hands and when and if he's going
to cum.
I'm also the one deciding if he's going to get a blowjob to begin with and
where and when it's going to happen.

I will never go to a guys place to blow him, unless I'm very familiar and
comfortable with him because then it's his home ground and that puts him in
control. I'm much more likely to suck his cock in the back of my van where
I'm on my home ground, or in a public neutral place somewhere.

While I might suck off several guys at once I won't do it if they're friends
of each other and I won't meet couples because then the scenario is theirs,
not mine, and I won't feel in control of the situation.

And If I get the slightest sense that a guy trying to meet me is a control
freak himself, whether we're corresponding on email or talking live at a
club or somewhere else, I'll walk away from the situation.

I will, though, frequently play the submissive role for a guy if that turns
him on, and let him 'order' me what to do but only if it's something I like
doing anyway.
Like lay flat on my back as he kneels over me and fucks my mouth, kneel with
my hands behind me as he fucks my mouth, lay on the bed with my head
backwards over the side as he stands and fucks my upside down mouth and
sometimes my throat, or even let him hold my head or my ears and move my
head back and forth over his cock. And he can talk as dirty as he likes
while he's doing any of that.
But if he gets rough at all or verbally nasty I'll tell him to go fuck
himself and be out of there in a heartbeat.

It's all about control.


EXCITEMENT

We all like excitement - anything that gets the adrenaline pumping.
It's nice to have regular cocks feeding me cum, guys I can stop by and blow
before heading out for the evening, and regular guys who I know will be at
certain places on certain days hoping I'll stop by to drain their balls
outside in my van.
But there isn't a big thrill to this after awhile and I need to break up the
routine every now and then.

The underlying cause of excitement is the possibility of danger.
I am always fairly cautious with new guys, my bullshit detector is very
finely tuned, and if it gets set off even slightly I'll walk away. But with
strange cock there is still an underlying sense of danger in the background.

I like public sex, it is exciting to me, but I think that's because there's
always a possibility of danger there as well.
Being in a video store knowing eventually the store will probably get
raided.
Sucking off a guy in the van in a parking lot during the day, darkened
windows or not, with people walking past.
Blowing a guy during the day while he's driving, or even better, driving and
stuck in traffic.
Blowing someone outside in a public park behind a bush.

Thrills - nothing like them


PRAISE AND PUNISHMENT

They seem to go hand in hand, really.
People seem to need, or at least expect both.
They're probably a by-product of self-esteem or lack of, and the underlying
reasons would probably take real therapy to ferret out. But here are some of
the related things that could possibly have to do with my desire to suck
someone's dick.... or not.

PRAISE

A NEED TO BE LIKED - Ever since I was a small child I wanted people to like
me. And in reality things don't work out that way, some people will like you
right away and some people won't.
If a girl didn't like me, though, there wasn't much I could do for her to
change her opinion of me except maybe just try to be nice, so I probably
just accepted that.
But all guys like having their dicks sucked (don't they?) so maybe I could
suck a guy's cock and he would like me?

A NEED TO PLEASE - Apart from being liked, most people are brought up with a
desire to please. It starts in childhood with wanting to please your parents
and doing and saying what they want to see and hear to please them, albeit
in conventional ways.
But the same ingrained values over time could possibly extend to the rest of
the world and to a desire to please, or pleasure, other people as well.
And what better way to please a guy than to take his cock in my mouth, bring
him to an orgasm, and swallow his cum as he watches.

A NEED TO EXCEL - I've always wanted to be really great at something.
Greatness wins praise, doesn't it?
But almost every thing I've ever done I've been mediocre to fairly good at,
at best, but never great.

When I started blowing guys I found I had a real natural talent for it, and
I worked hard at learning the craft of it as well, all the different ways I
could use my tongue, lips, mouth, hands and even my throat on a guys cock,
and how to make the right sounds and gestures to enhance it for him.
I also learned how to pay attention and read a guy so I'd be doing exactly
what he wanted done to his cock without him having to ask - and know exactly
what he wanted done without him even realizing that what I was doing with my
mouth was exactly what he wanted done to it.

And even learning to sense how to react when he finally came in my mouth,
and knowing whether he wanted to have me swallow his load down as it was fed
to me or even show it to him or gargle it before I swallowed.

Greatness and praise follow

A NEED TO BE DESIRED - A basic emotional need. Guys desire blowjobs, I give
them, need fulfilled

QUEEN OF THE PROM - All girls want to be the queen of the prom ... the girl
the guys choose first, the girl continually getting complements and praise.
When I'm out in the mainstream as a woman I don't feel especially good about
myself, I'm dressed down to blend in and usually feel a little like the ugly
duckling most of the time, a little too large, and a little too clumsy. I do
it all the time anyway but it doesn't do anything for my ego, maybe the
opposite.

But when I'm out for the night it's frequently a different story.

When I'm in the mixed club gay bars I'm usually the only T girl there and to
any admirers who show up I'm always, by default, the queen of the prom, the
girl getting the complements and getting hit on.
And when I'm in the TG clubs the places are usually packed with both T Girls
and admirers.
Most of the girls in those places are not really very out, they're at those
places because they're a safe, comfortable place to go, almost a TG Ghetto
in some ways, and very few of the girls are very passable for a variety of
reasons.
Now I might not be the best looking girl there, but most of the girls who
look better are hookers so I frequently end up being one of the prom queens
anyway.
One of the girls hit on and complemented first or at least very early on in
the pecking order.

So how does this make me want to blow guys? I know the complements are just
a line of crap and as soon as I turn down any guy he's just going to move to
the next girl in line with the same crappy come on, word for word (Hey,
baby, you look great).
But I do get a lot of offers, some of the guys really are cute, and there
are a lot of bulging crotches visually available - and the desire arises
from the opportunities.

PUNISHMENT

We all do things we're not proud of and know we shouldn't do all through our
lives, I know I have - not even necessarily major things, just things. And
more often than not we suffer no consequences for our actions. But we know
what we did, and without the punishment there's no closure.
Though I'm not a guilt ridden person in general, and don't focus on these
things to the point where they've become a fetish or obsession, there has to
be a reason for why I've walked into degrading and humiliating situations
with my eyes wide open, and have voluntarily allowed myself at times to be
used and disciplined despite my basic control freak nature.

USED - While I've mentioned previously that generally I make sure I'm in
control of things, I've been in quite a few situations with guys where I've
almost completely stopped asserting myself and let them use me as if I was
barely a person.

I've gone in video stores when I wasn't even really in the mood and let guys
walk into my booth and without saying a word to me and barely even looking
at me pull out their cocks and push them into my mouth and thrust a few
times, drop their load of cum, and just as quickly, pull up their pants and
leave without another word.

A guy I don't even like regularly drops in at the club where I socialize and
interrupts me in whatever I'm doing to whisper in my ear that he needs his
cock sucked. And I always drop whatever I'm doing to follow him outside to
my van where he usually tells me to lay down on the floor, which I do, and
he kneels in front of my face and slowly fucks my mouth till he cums.
Unless he's too drunk to get really hard, in which case he jerks himself off
and tells me to lick his cockhead at the same time, and when he's ready he
says 'Now' and I take his cock head between my lips as he strokes his cum
into my mouth. And when he's done, the most I'll get is 'See you next time'
as he's leaving.

And I know the next time I'll be there as his cum drop whenever he asks.

FORCED  - I'm not talking about forced as in raped, but I am talking about
being forced to do things without my consent.
I've had guys in video booths, while I was blowing them, get me with my head
and back against the wall where they'd fuck my mouth and throat hard.
I can deep throat a guy if I want but this isn't the same thing, and with a
cock forcibly going in and out my throat I frequently gag, and have done
this more than a few times, eyes watering into tears as my stomach contents
would rise into my mouth as the cock pounded in and out until the guy would
push into my throat and cum, the taste of the cum mixing with the taste of
my stomach acids, and as the guy left I'd be gulping for air and swallowing
back multiple fluids, with the puke taste foremost.

And I've also been in quite a few situations where I'll be sucking some guy
off, a regular blowjob, and at the last minute the guy will grab my head to
hold it in place and thrust really hard and quickly into my throat a few
times and hold my head as he cums in my throat.
And it happens so quickly that I usually gag or choke as he cums it's not
uncommon for a combination of cum, snot, and stomach bile to stream out of
my nose as my eyes water.

Will I see guys like this a second time? Definitely not. Could I have
stopped it? In the first case definitely, in the second, maybe not because
it's always so quick and unexpected.
But after it's over, I usually look back on those situations with a weird
kind of excitement.

DEGRADED - I've been with guys who knew exactly what my limits were, what I
would and wouldn't do, who'd always try to get me to do distasteful (to me)
things outside those limits.

One guy I was seeing would tell me to do things I didn't do, and while I'm
not sure why, I'd sometimes do them anyway.
I used to go to his place where he'd put on a porn video to watch while I
was servicing him and pay no attention to me at all while I worked on his
cock.
But one time he told me to lick his ass, which I never do, and when I
refused he told me I could leave then.
And I'm not sure why, but instead of me leaving he leaned over the couch
with his asshole exposed and I did what he asked, licking his asshole as I
played with his cock, and even put my tongue inside his asshole when he told
me to.

Another time he told me he wanted to cum on my face, which I don't do
either, but somehow I ended up kneeling in front of him as he pulled his
cock out of my mouth last minute and stroked his cum onto my face, even into
my eyes, totally screwing up my makeup. Then, when he was done he told me to
clean my face with my fingers and lick my fingers clean.

There was always something with him, but it finally ended when he wanted to
piss in my mouth. I drew the line there, walked out, and never saw him
again.
But in hindsight some of the other things I did with him are a turn on.

VERBAL ABUSE - Now this is something I do somehow like at times.
Being called a dirty slut, a whore, and a cocksucker while I'm blowing
someone.
Being asked if I like having my mouth used like a pussy as someone is
fucking it, if I like having my mouth filled with sperm as someone is
filling it with their cum, if I like being a cum dump.
Being asked how I can do something that disgusting as I swallow down a
mouthful someone's just spewed into my mouth.

HUMILIATION - To me this has always been combinations of the above, being
used, forced, degraded or verbally abused - with an audience watching it
done to me.
While not a major fetish for me like it is for many T girls I've met over
the years, I have at times intentionally put myself in situations where I
knew I was going to me humiliated in front of a crowd.
I've purposely kneeled down in the middle of a large group of people to blow
someone as a crowd of people catcalled and laughed.
I've let guys jerk off into my open mouth or an audience knowing it was
going to cause loud comments and expressions of disgust.
I've opened my mouth with a large pool of cum inside and gargled it knowing
I'd be laughed at.
And I've let guys fuck my mouth in a crowd as people called other people
over to watch the cocksucker.

As I said, not a major fetish of mine but a definite turn on of sorts when
it happens.

ENERGY

This is a reason I blow guys that doesn't fit into any other category.
But having a guy feed me his sperm after I've worked on his cock with my hot
mouth, tongue, and lips fills me with energy.
The energy gradually increases as the blowjob progresses until he finally
spurts his cum into my mouth, and when that happens and I swallow and feel
his vital juices slide down my throat I always feel energized, like a drug.
It's almost like the energy he's expending getting sucked off and blowing
his load is passed on to me with his semen.
And the only thing that nulls this feeling out is when I let the guy suck me
off afterwards.
Which is why I rarely let that happen.

CUM LUST

Also in a category of it's own, and it's not really a reason I blow guys to
begin with. There are many times when I'm out that there are cock and cum
opportunities right in front of me and I'll let them pass, I'm just not in
the mood.
But no matter what kind of mood I'm in to start, once I get my first
mouthful of cum, and the taste (and energy) hit my senses I get cum lust.
And once the cum lust hits I immediately want more, and when I get more cum
I still want more.

There are days when I've been out with no thought of slutting on my mind at
all, but I'd be passing a video store that I'd been in before and without
thinking pulled in, and once inside still wasn't really looking and would
pass on lots of guys looking for blowjobs.
And then maybe a regular would show up and I'd get in the booth with him and
suck him off, more for something to do than anything else.
But the minute his cum filled my mouth and was swallowed down the lust would
hit, and the minute he was out of the booth I'd immediately start looking
for another cock.
And the next thing I knew an hour or two would have passed as half a dozen
more guys came into my booth to relieve themselves in my mouth, and I'd be
almost in a daze through it all with nothing on my mind but getting
someone's cock in my mouth to feed me more cum.

******

Back in the club a lot of these things flashed through my mind very quickly.
But as my lesbian friend waited for me to answer her question of 'Why do you
blow guys, and why do you like it?', I sensed that someone had sat beside
me, but before I had a chance to look over I felt a hot breath in my ear and
the whispered words 'Hi baby, I need my cock sucked'.
I knew immediately who it was, and turned to him and said 'Been drinking
much?'. I always asked because when he was drinking he couldn't cum and
there wasn't mush else about him I really liked, even if he was cute.
He shook his head no, and I said '5 minutes' and he left.

I turned back to my lesbian friend and said 'I'm sure there are a lot of
reasons why I like to blow guys - and one of these days I'm going to think
about it and write them down.
But the main reason is probably that I just really like having a guys cock
filling my mouth with sperm, and I like drinking it down.'

She just kind of shook her head, and I got up, said goodbye, and started
walking out.
And as I was walking out I was already thinking about he guy outside waiting
to follow me to my van where I'd lay on my side on the floor like he wanted
as he kneeled before my face and slowly fucked my mouth.
And I was thinking about the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of my
lips till he grunted and his hot sperm quickly filled my mouth for me to
swallow down - and the strong taste of his cum which would stay in my mouth
for the drive home.

******

If you liked this story, write me:
lindalaving@hotmail.com