-- 1555 UTC

Well, it's been a while.  Work, after work, and life is keeping me busy.

I can't believe how long it's been since I had to let my dog go.  Only
thinking about this, because a lot of people have been using the "Was I A
Good Boy" meme about the loss of Opportunity.

So, seeing the meme stung a little, I came across a webcomic on 
anythingcomic:

http://www.anythingcomic.com/comics/2225211/good-boy/

Reading that, and I welled up, and had to excuse myself.  This is exactly
what I went through with her.  She wasn't in pain.  Just stopped being
able to do things.  Dog things.  I was carrying her all around, and for
her to be doing that...  wow.

She left us back in August.  It still hurts today.  Time has made it
better, but it's not all gone.  But, at least I don't cry at random times.

It wasn't very long after she passed that I started looking for another
dog for our home.  I pretty much self-set a rule, that we wouldn't, until
we got her ashes.

After we did, we went browsing at the SPCA pretty much once per week.  A
couple of times, we thought we found our new mate.  One of those times, we
went into a meet and greet room.  He didn't seem very interested in us,
but in the room, there was a picture of a dog that look like our old lady.

I busted down in tears there, and we couldn't bring that doggo home.  He
got another home, though.  A better one, I'm sure, for him.

Thankfully, we finally found the new housemate.  She's an old lady dog,
but still quite active, just missing a lot of teeth :)

But then I saw that comic, and it all came back again.  I need to stop
looking up stuff like his when I'm at the office, and stick doing it at
home.

About that day, since I've got it in my train of though:  That was
likely the first time my kids saw me cry.  I mean really cry.  Once I
felt the last life leave her, I broke down, and lost it.  I literally
howled in anguish.  The wife told me a few days later that my eldest was
actually scared for a bit, as he had never seen me like that.

I don't even think I did that when my dad died.

But as I held her head, petting her, and felt the last bit go, it felt
like something was ripped out of me as she left.

I'll probably never fully get over that, and I don't think I should, to
be honest.  If you get rid of the pain, the good times feel empty too, or
something.

Well, enough rambling.  Just needed to get this out.