this is the new journal. last year has been extremely difficult for me. maybe the most difficult my life so far. i have no where to go, stuck in this jail, i have no one to talk to. i'm in a family and yet some times i feedly lonely. i need a place to let out my feeling, some place where others might read, or might not. here at an obscure corner of the internet, i exist, i struggle, i fight my inner battle. 

i hope no one will notice, and yet i hope someone will notice, and listen. 

day after day, some are bad, are extremely bad, some are ok. sometimes i felt there could be happiness< and pleasure, but deep inside, i just couldn't be happy. i'm broken, i want happiness, i want freedom. but i'm not happy, i'm not free.