Happy Fool's Day

In front of my children, dad must be a wise, authoritative figure. Or most of
time, I tried to be as such. But most of the time, inside me, I'm bored,
puzzled, tired, defeated.

Life has been peaceful recently. G found ski as her new passion, which is
great. Whatever makes her happy. I try to encourage her, taking care of kids
so she can go, either weekday, or weekend. Went several times with her and M.
I value the time with kids together.

Work has been extremely stressful. Most of my stress and unhappiness are work
related I found. I can't just quit my job, I can't just switch what I do, or
change company. Given how the economy is recently and for the foreseeable
future, I don't even know where to switch to.  Job pays good. And I need it
this way to support the family. Golden cuff they call it.

There's also the lay off. I don't know what will happen. It would definately
be a big problem for me. It would be a big problem for most of the people. And
I won't have any control. Shitty times.

Yeah, I'm scared, stressed, tired, bored.

But it's good to have the kids around. I love them so much.