Today is the 5th day of our stay-at-home holiday. My wife and the older one is
on the flight back home right now. I'm grateful to have this experience of
taking care of the younger one alone for a week - it reminded me of two years
ago, when I was staying at home taking care of him using a parental leave. A
similarity in these times, is that I had a lot of chance to have inner
conversations with myself. Sometimes they can turn pretty dark. The other
feeling is that, I almost have no time for myself. I'm in a constant cleaning
up the mess, cooking, making sure they eat, ... 


Work wise, it's not great. I don't feel being appreciated. I did not build
good relationship with my co-workers. On the bright side, I work in an area
that is very hot in the industry, and I'm gaining the experience and some
skills that is demanded. There're stuff that I'm interested. But I feel dragged
down by the family duty. I'm afraid of not having the luxury of going "all-in"
- or more realistically, 8 hours per day. - on this thought - ░░░░░░░░░░░░░
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I also need to spend more time on the older one - the application deadline is
coming up. We want to giver it a good shot. So there's the statement writing,
the interview training. Yeah, it's going to be pretty intense in the January.


Back to work note - I'll try to shift to bringing my work laptop more often,
so I have easy access to the area where I want to work on. A few years back
when I joined this team, there was a period that I used every moment to work
on stuff in the night. I don't want to be that intense, but I want to have a
consistent daily routine working on new things.