hello, ~town! hope you all are doing well.

i feel like i need to start journaling again and i periodically remember about this place!

i've started online school for computer science recently and im procrastinating sooo bad ugh,
my desk is a mess and filled with distractions, i feel like i need to tidy up and im procrastinating 
on that too. i just gotta get on it :(

also, mom keeps making me go out to help with siblings and stuff, not that helping out is a bad
thing, but i think its throwing off my productivity in a weird probably adhd way

Oh and looking through my home folder, i found that i uploaded some art for my http site here that
i never linked to, its a bunch of old doodles from 2020 and 2021

[sad stuff]

looking back, 2020 was such a blur but also it has been one of the most difficult times of my
life. one of my best friends passed away from cancer before the pandemic started and it had
a huge hit on my mental health and looking back on art i made at the time reminded me of that
(not that its noticable to an outsiders perspective, i tended to draw cute characters to cheer me up)
i got into a lot of surreal games like LSD dream emulator, i made a character based on the yellow
mascot and titled those drawings "escapism." idk i had this idea that it would be cool if i could
put the world on pause and slip away into an alternate world where there was nothing to stress
about, and LSD sort of alligned with that idea for me. if i tried to make music again i wanted it 
to be around the theme of escapism as well. 

of course now im in a better headspace compared to how i was before. i still miss them with all
my heart though. dealing with grief and loss is like a wound that will never fully heal, you just
learn to accept it.

[/sad stuff]

anyways, its getting late now, i should head off to bed soon. 
tomorrow i will tidy up my desk and focus on school!

=^..^=

lol i have some more i want to write about, just some silly ramblings i want to say. 

I've started using my old crap-top again lately. back in school when this was my only laptop, 
i would bash it for it's crappiness becuase it wasnt powerful enough for my needs (gaming and
drawing)

recently i found out it actually has a 64bit cpu, it originally ran a 32bit version of windows
7 starter so i just assumed it was a 32bit device. although not every 64bit distro works on this
for whatever reason. performance is slightly better on 64bit i think?? using a modern browser
is still garbage tho. 

this laptop is a really really good on-the-go device, as long as theres an outlet. i really like 
the keyboard too, feels  satisfyingly clicky for a rubber dome keyboard. its really fun to just type on

i have it running bodhi linux, which is one of the only oses i found thats not tty only that runs
good on this. i also have bodhi running on a windows xp era tablet pc (which ive turned into a scummvm
steamdeck-like device)

the best part?? this is my favourite device for logging into ~town!

ok hope you liked my late night tech review goodnight!!