My last final is due tomorrow at midnight, then I'll be completely done with
school. I'm excited I suppose, but not because of having a degree or whatever or
being able to get a job, school just thoroughly erases my personality and will
to do things I want to do. I'm not very excited about looking for a job. My only
hope is that I can find a job that I like or one that aligns with my
beliefs/interests... Like if I could work somewhere that appreciated
well-written, lightweight software and/or free software, that would be great.  

I got a kitty in my lap rn :3

A low-level coding position would be nice too. I don't claim to be an especially
good programmer or anything, by the way.  Honestly I don't even know what people
want. I guess that's part of the job search though, right?  
I kinda like HTML/CSS though, so I could learn some libraries and do that, but
honestly that's also pain lol. Imagine doing that every single day... Could I?
Maybe. It's not ideal, but it's not a bad choice.

Uhhhhhhh anyway? That's a thing, I guess. I'm really bad a context switching,
like between thinking about work/school/responsibilities and my own projects or
fun stuff. Like it's very confusing to my brain to plan to work for 3 hours and
then play minecraft or something. My brain either wants to expect one or the
other. That's what school does to me, it stresses me out and makes me unable to
relax enough to enjoy things. I end up binging youtube because it's easy and
distracting and a dopamine flood. I hope that doesn't happen with work too. o_o
I don't think it will, honestly... the actual worry is that I'll bring my work
home with me and won't relax or won't stop thinking about it. I don't want that
either.

Uh so I got on here to say I meditated today because I've been extremely
distracted and incapable of focusing on tasks, and now I'm going to Starbucks to
finish my last final, which is an open-book/open-note/open-internet take home
exam. This teacher is amazing, yes. I agree. So an espresso-laced drink and a
coffee shop will most likely help me focus I think.

Oh if you're reading this and want to learn how to smoke cigars, check out my
gemini site on here, gemini://tilde.town/~soda . I have a new section for that.
;)

Have a good day, you special someone.


PS. I can't write a two feels in a day apparently, so PS. Being comforted by
someone else always makes it easier to comfort others, but doesn't that make
comfort/love a finite commodity? At some point, maybe we have to create our own,
though effort. Loving someone and being comforting because of the desire for
such things, because we want others to feel the way we want to feel. And since
we know what we want, we can use that knowledge to give it to others, for the
sake of other human beings, other wandering souls.