I'm in a good position, really. I have a job that pays a bit more than my flat and food and is actually not that bad compared to others. I have a flat at the moment, I have some money saved, I am still relatively healthy and pretty unimpaired. I don't have any actually big problems like some people. And I'm not that old compared to how old humans become. I could still do anything I like with my life. But I'm not really, because I'm afraid of an uncertain future. That's just one of many many ways in which I have become how i never wanted to become. But it is one which I'd rather change. I don't want to worry about what might be in 10 years. I just want to be free and have fun. But I'm not, as if it wasn't my decision.

Alcohol: none

Nicotine: heavy vaping, 0.3 mg/ml