It's already 2021, and I still keep thinking of contacting my ex.
I really don't know what I seek to accomplish; things will not go back to the way they were, and I will never be by her side again, no matter what.
Still, I think about her constantly, in waves that come and go.
I find that the more distractions I have, the less I do it.

Okay. I'll wish her a happy new year, and if she is not willing to talk, I'll leave her alone. Her birthday is in January, too, but if she's dismissive to
me for New Years, there's no point in texting her to wish her a happy birthday, either...
It's not that I hate her. Quite the contrary. But, I feel like she is not willing to talk to me, and becomes less and less willing with each passing day.