never mind re: hours changing. this week and next are fucked up, but the new hire refused a drug test so we're continuing on the same thing. they're annoying hours that hurt, but at least they're consistent.

as time goes on, i feel like "comfort" spending is less and less of a dumb idea. stuff like memory foam pillows ($50 for two pillows, and I am not regretting this one bit) and my Corsair K50 ($80 for a keyboard? sure, but it's a really nice keyboard with a wrist rest). maybe spending a bit on more comfortable shoes as well, or insoles or something.

and with nine hour, stressful days, my feet tend to hurt these days. it probably doesn't help that all the walking probably pounds the shoes horribly worn and flat.

I guess I'm still changing things, albeit ever-so-slowly. one of these days, soon enough, I'll be generally happier -- or at least, less irritable over some things.

I really didn't come here to gripe over work and such all the time, but these days it feels like working is all I ever do. Then I come home and everything's already been missed for the day, so I just kind of... exist in a vacuum for a while, or something. I feel like it's been bugging some people I'm close to, and I hate the thought of being a burden on someone.

(also I'm annoyed that I never got to ask a couple questions I had at work. maybe tomorrow I'll have to force them in, or something. I dunno.)

I dreamt that a doctor tried to put me on seven different medications, and one of them made me particularly uncomfortable because I knew I'd be wed to it for the rest of my life. I don't know if this kind of thing is an inevitability, or... what. I hate thinking about it. I just see the depressing side of life, anymore - people requiring expensive medicine, not feeling well. It wears one down, only seeing this side of everything, not seeing the fact that everyone else (or, well, a good chunk) is potentially leading very full and enjoyable lives despite this downside. Customers and coworkers alike, I only see the negative sides of everything, and never get enough of a chance to see any of the positives.

I'm gonna shut the brain dump off here for now. I really, really want to start putting happier things up sometime. These past few days have been super negative, and that's no good.

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addendum as of two or three hours later or something: as much as things infuriate and frustrate me, it helps sometimes to remember that I've built up a very good (or at least, acceptable) reputation with a not-insignificant number of our customers. I'll run into people when I'm not at work, and they'll be genuinely happy to see me!

an amusing related story: I was leaving a grocery store once, ran into one of said customers. Went to pick up food, and it turns out we went to <i>the exact same place</i>.