23 September 2024, Monday

I've made finally an active decision that this is the week I finally try and start doing art commissions.

There was a grant that covered my first couple years of college with a bit to spare each year, and it's run out.  Even without counting textbook costs (_somewhat optional_ as they are) there are still supplies to get, room and board and tuition to pay for.  I need money, and I don't think I'm capable of holding down a job while still working on school --- maybe not even work-study, if there are any of those left at this point.

Fortunately I got a ko-fi up and running a little while ago, so people _can_ pay me!  I just need to draw up a contract, terms of service, something to explain what the _rules_ are, what I am or am not willing to do ... and get over myself enough to actually do it.  The prospect of working with clients is kinda daunting.  But you gotta do something, to live.  I doubt I'll be able to get quite the $3k I need on commissions alone, but if I manage to do that alongside maybe getting a summer job?  It's ... possible.  I have to believe that it's possible.

Getting a job in the first place hasn't gone well.  I've never even gotten to the interview stage before.  Never worked part-time in high school, since I was too depressed and too insomniac to do much of anything back then.  There's nothing to put on a résumé.

Some people make a living just as freelance artists, off commission work.  Probably I'm not skilled enough for that, yet.  I'll keep learning, keep growing as an artist, and maybe get there someday.  Maybe not.  Long-term I want to get certified for IT work, fixing hardware, that kinda thing --- used to be I wanted to be a programmer, or at least vaguely intended to go down that route, but the current state of career programming is frankly deeply unsatisfying to me.  Embedded programming sounds at least a little interesting, but what are the chances of that?  Motherboards and SO-DIMMS and whatever are at least real, physical objects.  Fixing someone's computer has a real effect on their life.

So the plan for the foreseeable future is, not necessarily in this order:

* Make a little money drawing things for people on the internet
* Seek diagnosis for my many mental problems
* Try and move towards starting HRT
* Get my A+ certification

This is open lab week for my PC repair course, so I think I'll see if I can take a laptop apart and put it back together without breaking anything.