i was gonna try and make a phone call today, so set an alarm for
3 o'clock --- and it woke me up, it did, but i couldn't get out of bed
until like five thirty.  i don't really know what's wrong with me.  am
i just lazy?  how am i supposed to get a day job if i can't even wake up
in the morning, can't go to bed at night?

i don't want to be a burden on my mom forever, i want to go out in the
world and make money and buy my own necessities, but i'm stuck in this
fucking fog of anxiety and tiredness and ugh.  haven't been a functional
human being in years and years.  how am i supposed to learn to drive
when i can barely walk a straight line sober?