Lately i've been depressed af, literally spending days in my bed scrolling instagram and
sleeping. i dont even want to put the effort to play videogames, it needs concentration 
and i cant focus right now.

when i go out with my friends i feel fine mostly, feel a little disocciated sometimes but
i enjoy that time, but when i get back home i feel a crushing weight on my shoulders.

i think it's a mix of things, the fact that i'm back home after one year in paris, some
family issues and dont know what else.
i'm not anxious, i feel disappointed kinda, dont know how to explain it, like if everything
is meaningless.

i dont feel like answering to some people messages, when they ask u "how are u doing" i feel
the need to ghost them. i dont eeanto to open up and be a burder to them, i hate when people
do it to me.

Body dysmorphia is also at it's all time high, objectively i'm in the best shape of my life,
stopped the gym yes but i didnt gain weight, everybody compliments my body but when i look at
the mirror i feel the need to skip the next meal so i can get skinnier.
food also lost it's appeal, i used to love cooking and eating good food or also junk food but
now it doesnt give me the same excitement at all.

music feels nice, better then ever, from pop to EDM, i love driving at night with some good
music.

Hope this feeling goes away, need to focus in the next months to finish my bachelor and decide
what to do with my life. I think it's normal, life has ups and downs.

see ya