shit has been a little better lately 
i'm keeping myself occupied with other things (uni, training, friends)
back to daily journaling and gratitude, i think it's a good thing

lately i've been feeling "enhanced emotions" kinda

the highs are very high,
when i'm happy i really do feel happy, like a child, i want that moment not to end

but the lows are so fucking low,
i feel completely hopeless and i get bombarded by depressed thoughts

no in between

sometimes i find myself walking down the street while smiling and looking at the trees and
the clouds, thinking about how nature is beautiful.
even if i realize that i'm in such a good mood for no particular reason i keep being happy.

but also the opposite happens, i find myself in actually a good setting, but then my mind
starts wandering, i lose interest in the person talking to me, even get kind of annoyed,
i just wanna be myself during those times. but i cant. i can't tell to the other person
"hey thats enough i dont wanna spend more time with you, bye". u need to finish what u started.

that's curious, i feel like i'm getting to know myself, like if i'm a new person.
and i get genuinly surprised by some of my emotions or how i react.


tldr: kind of better than last month

bye

p.s. i should start again music suggestions, but i feel lazy