Today's Tarot card is Strength, as in "you'll need it."

Today is also Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Lenten season. I do
not attend Church, but I am conscious of my negative attachments, failings
and weaknesses. The prominent negative attachment and failing is the
expectation that following rules, being polite and gracious, and offering
on-topic bits in conversation merit interaction.

I let this eat at me too long. I don't contribute if I don't have 
something worthy (imo) to say, I'm quiet mostly so that shows how
circumspect I am. It's not anything these days to submit a true and accurate 
answer to a question, don't expect it to be read and appreciated.

I found a freeform radio station I enjoy. Annually I support the station.
That, I find, does not earn me much recognition as a member of the 
chatforum communities. I won't lurk or comment on the chatforums, I won't be
missed probably. Maybe my dollars would be missed. I say hello when I 
unlurk, I comment on songs I like, answer questions, and always thank
the DJ.

I'm ditching my negative attachment to moderation on a Mastodon instance.
Moderating brings me down because I don't adapt to unwritten account
acceptance guidelines. To be exact, I look up IP addresses and rely on past
examples for deciding to accept or decline an application, such as accounts
from a VPN Server in the US if the English is poor, or Bangladesh, India, or 
Pakistan using AI verbiage; "I want to grow my audience" for the third 
occurrence, from the Philippines, for the third time; 'usaresourcehub'* 
after two suspensions from reports about 'usaresourcehub' spam. Not all
moderators do this.

My loneliness drives me to these negative attachments and time wasters. I
am such a nothing mostly bots and third-party cookies and trackers show
activity. Is this 'murmuring into the void' common? Is that what I'm 
doing now?

I think tech is making me lonely too. I can't answer 'hello' to unknown
numbers, I can't post freely on US-based Mastodon instances, or any
Mastodon instances. I know this is hosted on a US server. It's a safe
bet I don't have accounts on centralized, commercial social media
platforms and that makes me lonely too. I am cut off from my relatives
who are hypocritical and performative. It seems most people are 
hypocritical and performative online. Any friends made are to be
found at public events. So if one doesn't want to be monitored, traced,
stalked, why be online?